It has become obvious to me that I may speak a little too much... just in general. Maybe a little mystique would do me well?
I tend to overshare... I just say what I think, when I think it. If I find a funny situation, I repeat it, and enjoy it all over again. I laugh not only to myself but to everyone, and while I really like doing this, I think I might need to turn it down a notch.
I am not sure if this was part of some developmental stage that I missed out on... if it is an immature characteristic, or a personality flaw.. but I am going to give it a whirl, and try to internalize a little bit more. It seems like it would only serve me well. Maybe sometimes I shouldnt show all of my cards?
I know it is going to be difficult for me because I like to be an open book. (Kellen hates that, he is more of a semi-cracked book) I will have to use a filter, which is also difficult... but I think I can do it. I just need to establish a habit out of it.
At least I put it in writing... shoot, this blog is a testament to my oversharing tendencies. I could keep a journal and show noone (which I still do for the stuff I would never allow to be posted...) but typing is less difficult than writing, and journaling makes me feel like I am twelve again. (I journaled a LOT back then... my counselor was upset when I told her I had tossed them all out... who wants to see the tear stained pages of my adolesence??)
Again, oversharing... UGH. I have to stop this! :) Wish me luck! I will need it!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tempers
When describing my personality, people rarely use the words tender, kind, docile, or soft spoken. While I do have a very sweet side (I think), I also am very strong willed, stubborn, and quick to anger...
That quick to anger part is one that I have really been trying to work on recently. Especially with Kellen, and Chewie! I tend to get very "frustrated" as I like to call it, when things go awry... as they seem to always do! Chewie barking, chewie peeing, pooping on the floor, all seem to be triggers (why did we get a dog?).
But mostly, I am trying to work on my temper with Kellen! We seem to have been at each others' throats lately, mostly because we have problems communicating. We both think very VERY differently, and that is hard when you are trying to work on communication. For example, my perception of Kellen's thought process (if you could call it one) is "Me, Kellen... you, Lauren." (like Me, Tarzan... you, Jane.) Kellen is so focused on school, accounting, books, work, that he rarely thinks about anything else. I say that I understand, and I really do try to be supportive, but I get so frustrated (and lonely) when he really doesn't have time to even say hello, or most of the time, goodbye!
Through some specific conversations and issues that have come up, Kellen basically explained how detrimental my temper was to him, and I really cant blame him. I have a tendency to fly off the handle in some situations.... work, school, tax office officials that piss me off, road rage... just in general. I am really trying to tone it down, and mellow out a little more! It is hard for me... that perfectionist inside just doesnt want to let it go... but I think I am going to have to for my sanity, and for Kellen's!
PS- I am also trying to stop cussing :) but sometimes it just feels so good!
That quick to anger part is one that I have really been trying to work on recently. Especially with Kellen, and Chewie! I tend to get very "frustrated" as I like to call it, when things go awry... as they seem to always do! Chewie barking, chewie peeing, pooping on the floor, all seem to be triggers (why did we get a dog?).
But mostly, I am trying to work on my temper with Kellen! We seem to have been at each others' throats lately, mostly because we have problems communicating. We both think very VERY differently, and that is hard when you are trying to work on communication. For example, my perception of Kellen's thought process (if you could call it one) is "Me, Kellen... you, Lauren." (like Me, Tarzan... you, Jane.) Kellen is so focused on school, accounting, books, work, that he rarely thinks about anything else. I say that I understand, and I really do try to be supportive, but I get so frustrated (and lonely) when he really doesn't have time to even say hello, or most of the time, goodbye!
Through some specific conversations and issues that have come up, Kellen basically explained how detrimental my temper was to him, and I really cant blame him. I have a tendency to fly off the handle in some situations.... work, school, tax office officials that piss me off, road rage... just in general. I am really trying to tone it down, and mellow out a little more! It is hard for me... that perfectionist inside just doesnt want to let it go... but I think I am going to have to for my sanity, and for Kellen's!
PS- I am also trying to stop cussing :) but sometimes it just feels so good!
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Typical Friday Night
First, just a random thought: I hate the term "bumping uglies." Why, in the world, would anyone feel compelled to use that description?!
Moving on... I feel like I must share this story, as it totally sums up my home life!
Last night was a typical Friday... I got off of work, Kellen was at home doing some studying, so I ran to Wade & Michelle's to pick up some stuff I bought from Mary Kay. I get home about 8:15, and I walk in the door of my apartment... SMOKE EVERYWHERE!
I asked Kellen what in the world was going on, and then he told me: he had cooked himself some egg sandwiches! The WHOLE apartment (all 300 square feet of it) smells like egg, burnt egg. So, agitated, I ask him why the window is all messed up (the curtains are janky and the blinds have been toussled). He tells me the window is open. Well he has the blinds closed! So, I ask him what he thinks he is accomplishing by leaving the windows open with the blinds completely shut?!
Mind you, while all of this is happening, he is barely phased, because he is attentively watching RAMBO. I tell him to open the door, and turn the fan on, so I can see the other side of the apartment (since the smoke has literally clouded the apartment at this point). As SOON as Kellen opens the door, Chewie SHOOTS out the door like he has never seen the light of day! So now, here goes Kellen chasing after him, egg sandwich in hand, chasing him around the apartment complex!!
OMG! I mean, sure I started out irritated, but at this point it was like a family comedy! all of a sudden I am a Griswold and everything that can go wrong does! Once I finally got Sylvester Stalone off of the TV, I could finally have a good laugh! (I hate Rambo by the way). I even woke up laughing about it this morning...
Moving on... I feel like I must share this story, as it totally sums up my home life!
Last night was a typical Friday... I got off of work, Kellen was at home doing some studying, so I ran to Wade & Michelle's to pick up some stuff I bought from Mary Kay. I get home about 8:15, and I walk in the door of my apartment... SMOKE EVERYWHERE!
I asked Kellen what in the world was going on, and then he told me: he had cooked himself some egg sandwiches! The WHOLE apartment (all 300 square feet of it) smells like egg, burnt egg. So, agitated, I ask him why the window is all messed up (the curtains are janky and the blinds have been toussled). He tells me the window is open. Well he has the blinds closed! So, I ask him what he thinks he is accomplishing by leaving the windows open with the blinds completely shut?!
Mind you, while all of this is happening, he is barely phased, because he is attentively watching RAMBO. I tell him to open the door, and turn the fan on, so I can see the other side of the apartment (since the smoke has literally clouded the apartment at this point). As SOON as Kellen opens the door, Chewie SHOOTS out the door like he has never seen the light of day! So now, here goes Kellen chasing after him, egg sandwich in hand, chasing him around the apartment complex!!
OMG! I mean, sure I started out irritated, but at this point it was like a family comedy! all of a sudden I am a Griswold and everything that can go wrong does! Once I finally got Sylvester Stalone off of the TV, I could finally have a good laugh! (I hate Rambo by the way). I even woke up laughing about it this morning...
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