These last few months I have really struggled with knowing my ever-changing self, and struggling to reestablish my identity. I know that I have evolved, probably ten-fold, since I have had enough time to enjoy my time and reflect on who I am, and I am trying to find out just who I've turned out to be... or who I am going to turn out to be.
Questions that I struggle with daily are: Am I a good person? Am I a trustworthy person? Am I a good friend? Am I lovable? Am I attractive? Am I honest with myself?
I have been fighting these self esteem issues for the first time. I used to be so sure of myself. Who I was. What I represented. What my moral foundations meant to me. (the level of crazy I'm capable of.) Now I feel like somehow I have lost all of that. I don't know how or why, but my personal identity feels like a hologram, rather than an ever-present figure. People that used to contribute to my high self-esteem, now contribute to this conflict I am having. I feel emotionally and physically abandoned with my marriage... and there is no resolution currently in sight. Professionally I feel insecure, where I used to feel confident and strong.
Is this something that everyone experiences? Is it just a phase/stage/age?I keep thinking I will bounce back, but mostly I just want to run away. Start fresh. Try again. :(
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment